Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
3 2 1 whiskey
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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