So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
