some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
