Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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