New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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