I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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