That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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