Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
