8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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