You work out of a Hotel?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
