I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His nipple licking is glorious
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