Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
