I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
