Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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