you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
