Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
