I feel great
I just peed on a car
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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