So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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