It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize