That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize