I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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