saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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