I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
