He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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