Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
