The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
