If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize