you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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