ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
