Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
