I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
