just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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