Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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