I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
