can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
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its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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