You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
