So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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