the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can I color on your dick again?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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