I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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