Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
