I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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