You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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