I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
