Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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