I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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