Swine flu. Run for my life!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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