Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
