Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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