it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
