Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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