I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A bitchslap is in order.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
