I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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