I just cut my nipple shaving
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
