marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
