I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
