Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
