I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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