This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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