Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize