we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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