So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
