just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
