I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
