thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
